|
|
Post by Cam on Jun 30, 2009 21:47:58 GMT -5
How was the Web-slingers first adventure? Let us know!
|
|
|
|
Post by Ammunition88 on Jun 30, 2009 22:03:21 GMT -5
Well, Mr. Mann, I gotta say.... this was a great first issue!
Other than a few grammatical gaffs and some mistakes in coding, this was a prefect issue!
You've totally got the perfect voice for this book! That snarky, somewhat disrespectful style (which is the way Spidey should be!) that makes the Spidey book great. Looking forward to issue #2!
-Cam-
|
|
|
|
Post by Cam on Jun 30, 2009 22:08:10 GMT -5
Coding errors and grammar gaffs were on me.. I got the issue last minute but I should have caught those.
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jun 30, 2009 22:10:13 GMT -5
Well, Mr. Mann, I gotta say.... this was a great first issue! Other than a few grammatical gaffs and some mistakes in coding, this was a prefect issue! You've totally got the perfect voice for this book! That snarky, somewhat disrespectful style (which is the way Spidey should be!) that makes the Spidey book great. Looking forward to issue #2! -Cam- Thanks Cam. I was really trying to show that, after six months of being top dog in town, Peter's head has become a bit swelled. I mean, he should be a clever smart-ass, but I also think he will modest out in future issues. Oops! Have I revealed too much?  Thanks for reading and reviewing! |
|
|
|
Post by Universe Man on Jul 1, 2009 0:14:01 GMT -5
Great way to kick off the series. There's a solid mix of action, teenage drama and even some suspense. The hunt for Spidey's identity can make for a very compelling plot, as well as Doc Ock's story.
Very good stuff here. I'll be back next month to see what happens.
-UM
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 1, 2009 1:44:03 GMT -5
Great way to kick off the series. There's a solid mix of action, teenage drama and even some suspense. The hunt for Spidey's identity can make for a very compelling plot, as well as Doc Ock's story. Very good stuff here. I'll be back next month to see what happens. -UM Thanks UM. I actually worried, after I wrote it, that I tried to pack in too much there, but as long as you come back next month, I can keep working and keep honing my craft. It's all for the fans! ;D -D.L. Mann |
|
|
|
Post by Merai on Jul 1, 2009 9:36:48 GMT -5
First thing's first; I was grinning from ear to ear when the issue began with the Stan Lee-esque opening, an unconventional idea but one that really, really worked in my view! It was fitting, because the smile stayed for the whole issue.
The use of the newspaper to introduce us to Spider-Man's exploits was a nice idea, and well used; I despise the character of Sally Floyd in comics, but having Frontline as an extension of the Bugle worked well enough for me. The transition to Spider-Man (Where are you? / 'Behind you!) was another nice touch in an issue full of them. I'd say an early strength is the dialogue, which feels natural, each character's voice distinctive.
The issue's not perfect, though. While the dialogue is good, some of the narrative is clunky and could be streamlined for better effect. (E.G. he quickly grabbed onto Liz like she were a floatation device and he was drowning.) If that can be tackled though, then I have a feeling this could fast become a star book on Marvel2.0!
It would also be remiss of me not to mention the cover, which resisted the temptation to just give a big Spider-Man shot; the attention to detail with the figures on the desks, the expression on Peter's face and the shadow on the wall made it a really cool visual; well done to all involved!
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 1, 2009 14:51:38 GMT -5
First thing's first; I was grinning from ear to ear when the issue began with the Stan Lee-esque opening, an unconventional idea but one that really, really worked in my view! It was fitting, because the smile stayed for the whole issue. Thanks! To tell you the truth, I was pretty shameless... if you pick up a copy of Amazing Fantasy #15, you'll see that I really just lifted the idea straight from the issue. I changed it up a bit, but... Overall though, this is one of my first published works in the DC2/Marvel2 franchise, and I really wanted to grip people and show them that this was going to be a fun read, so I figured, follow the master of fun reads. The use of the newspaper to introduce us to Spider-Man's exploits was a nice idea, and well used; I despise the character of Sally Floyd in comics, but having Frontline as an extension of the Bugle worked well enough for me. The transition to Spider-Man (Where are you? / 'Behind you!) was another nice touch in an issue full of them. I'd say an early strength is the dialogue, which feels natural, each character's voice distinctive. Yeah, I just needed a reporter for the Bugle who wasn't Ben Urich, so I picked Sally Floyd of Frontline. Also, in a world where the internet rules all, I felt the Bugle having an online version paper was just sensible and would help bring Spidey's world into the 21st century, thus Frontline. Though, if you don't dig Sally Floyd, there may be some other Bugle reporters to take the spotlight... oops, I keep slipping stuff! As for that transition... well, that's one of my guilty pleasures of writing. I simply fall over like a fool in love for those old-fashioned gimmicks. So... expect more of those! ;D I never thought of myself as a dialogue writer, but I am a regular speaker in real life... so that could explain that!  The issue's not perfect, though. While the dialogue is good, some of the narrative is clunky and could be streamlined for better effect. (E.G. he quickly grabbed onto Liz like she were a floatation device and he was drowning.) If that can be tackled though, then I have a feeling this could fast become a star book on Marvel2.0! Thanks for the vote of confidence, and I'll try to work on that. I have a problem with "over-wording" in writing and speaking. I just have trouble with K.I.S.S. (Keeping It Simple Stupid) but I'll watch out for that in future issues. Thanks.  It would also be remiss of me not to mention the cover, which resisted the temptation to just give a big Spider-Man shot; the attention to detail with the figures on the desks, the expression on Peter's face and the shadow on the wall made it a really cool visual; well done to all involved! Isn't Steven Howard the most awesome person on the face of the planet? When I originally gave him the description for the cover, I had a very simple idea in mind. Like, uber simple. Then Steven Howard turned this in and.... I was speechless. It made me want to keep glasses on Peter Parker, but in the end I had to add the part about Flash breaking them (much like issue 8 of AMS!). So, let's all remember the genius of Steven Howard and give him our praise, and hope that he will do many, many more covers for Marvel 2. (After he's done Spider-Man covers though, we call him first!  ) |
|
|
|
Post by Steve Howard on Jul 1, 2009 18:08:39 GMT -5
great first issue people! i was proud to do the cover and glad it has been so well received can't wait to get back to doing marvel 2.0 covers soon
|
|
chris
New Member
Posts: 6
|
Post by chris on Jul 2, 2009 14:06:48 GMT -5
It was a very good issue. Setting up all the pieces to come, I'm sure of it. Excellent cover too by the way. Keep up the good work. |
|
|
|
Post by starlord on Jul 2, 2009 22:21:45 GMT -5
well done opening. Loved the JJ/Betty/Robbie scene.
And the thigh lines... well that was pure comedy gold.
Great beginning and a beautiful cover.
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 2, 2009 23:14:37 GMT -5
It was a very good issue. Setting up all the pieces to come, I'm sure of it. Excellent cover too by the way. Keep up the good work. Thanks chris, and once again I will say it: Steven Howard is awesome. well done opening. Loved the JJ/Betty/Robbie scene. Thanks. Sometimes after all of the plotting is done, you get in the moment and stuff just happens organically. That was one of those moments. I really, really liked that one too. And the thigh lines... well that was pure comedy gold. Another organic moment. I actually thought I was being a little sexist there, but eh... what can you do? I guess I'll just wait for the angry feminist letters... Great beginning and a beautiful cover. Thanks and once again, Steven Howard is an artistic master in every sense of the word. |
|
|
|
Post by lissilambe on Jul 3, 2009 13:05:10 GMT -5
This was a good start. The setting is immediately accessible for fans of the Spider-mythos and easy to get into, even if some of the characterizations seemed rushed and simple. The implications of some of what's occurred in the few weeks Spidey's been around are interesting, and it's nice to see the touches to the modern life and behavior of people (and the teens in particular) and the ways it never changes. I'm curious to see more of the new character, Carlie. That could be fun, always nice to see what a new writer brings to the plate. Disappointed to see Betty shunted to the side so soon, since I've always enjoyed her and Peter's interactions at the start of the series, but with him being a year or so younger, and she is probably a bit older, it's acceptable. Sorry to see Mary Jane involved so soon. Can't stand the woman, and hopefully, she'll be in line right behind Sally (see below). Yeah, I said it. There were some grammatical issues, as others have mentioned, and some poor words and word choices that probably should have been caught, but it's only worse for me since I'm so very finicky about such things. The biggest problem was the change in tenses for the last scene. I figured it was a conscious choice to bring the battle and the sudden pain for Spidey and his being in over his head really hard to the reader, but for me, it was just something that jarred. Man, Sally Floyd is a screeching harpy that takes the enjoyment out of any scene she's a part of in every universe, isn't she? Soon as we can find a bridge to throw her off of, please do. The menace of Doctor Octopus is being set up nicely. I'm quite excited by that. I'm old, old school, and for me, he's much more the arch-nemesis that spooks Spider-Man much more than most any other of his rogues (Green Goblin runs up there too, but Doc Ock was first, and scariest, and I loved seeing him in that position). Hopefully, he'll be staying in that "arch-enemy" category here. Promethium, huh? So this the actual element, or is it the newest in superhero "wonder elements?" And an interesting montage in Otto's head, very intriguing (though I think most of us have our guesses who the other voice is). Finally, while I saw there was an effort to keep that old school charm in the exposition with scene changes and all, it just helped to yank me out of the story, so here's hoping the "let's check in on our pals" is kept to the barest minimum, if it needs to be kept at all. So a solid start, marred with some poor grammar and not-quite-right-but-good-for-you-trying technique, and good enough to get me to check out issue 2. Good luck and keep it up. Take care Don |
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 3, 2009 13:38:27 GMT -5
This was a good start. The setting is immediately accessible for fans of the Spider-mythos and easy to get into, even if some of the characterizations seemed rushed and simple. The implications of some of what's occurred in the few weeks Spidey's been around are interesting, and it's nice to see the touches to the modern life and behavior of people (and the teens in particular) and the ways it never changes. Thanks. I read a lot of Essential Spider-Man collections to prepare for the origin and classic moments. Then I read some Ultimate to have the modern feeling, and I think I did a good job. And yes, this thing was built for Spidey fans. I have a lot of plots in mind and want to introduce them quickly, so I had to kind of speed through stuff to fit the word "limit." So, if you're not a Spidey fan, it's easy to see how it might be hard to enjoy some of the nuances. I'm curious to see more of the new character, Carlie. That could be fun, always nice to see what a new writer brings to the plate. Disappointed to see Betty shunted to the side so soon, since I've always enjoyed her and Peter's interactions at the start of the series, but with him being a year or so younger, and she is probably a bit older, it's acceptable. Sorry to see Mary Jane involved so soon. Can't stand the woman, and hopefully, she'll be in line right behind Sally (see below). Yeah, I said it. Well, I liked the relationship between Betty and Peter too, especially since age-difference relationships are kind of taboo now, so imagine the balls Stan Lee had to intro those two kids together in the 60s! ;D But let's face it, Betty Brant is not remembered as a great love of Peter. Their relationship ended soon after Gwen Stacy's introduction, and she was married to Ned Leeds for a long while(though she did "cheat" on him with Peter for a small while, that saucy lass), went crazy for longer, and even dated Flash Thompson for a while. I think you'll agree when I say that the character can last, without being in a relationship with Pete. Plus... they're exes now... so that ball's still in the air.... I like Carlie too. Expect to see more of her! And sorry Don, but I also like MJ, so expect to see more of her as well. ;D There were some grammatical issues, as others have mentioned, and some poor words and word choices that probably should have been caught, but it's only worse for me since I'm so very finicky about such things. The biggest problem was the change in tenses for the last scene. I figured it was a conscious choice to bring the battle and the sudden pain for Spidey and his being in over his head really hard to the reader, but for me, it was just something that jarred. Sorry about that. I'll try to be more careful in the future. I don't think I've re-iterated that enough. Next month, expect less goofs. I'll personally make sure of it. I hate that that might have interfered with some people's enjoyment. Also, let's give zirronis a pat on the back, as he had to edit this thing in, like, a day.  I'm grateful that he gave his services in a moment where I was worried I'd have no editor and Spider-Man would be delayed. That was frightening for me. Tense shift was indeed deliberate. Sorry it didn't suit your tastes. Man, Sally Floyd is a screeching harpy that takes the enjoyment out of any scene she's a part of in every universe, isn't she? Soon as we can find a bridge to throw her off of, please do. Man... I know she's not the next Scarlett Johansson, but is there anyone who likes Sally? I kind of dig her....  The menace of Doctor Octopus is being set up nicely. I'm quite excited by that. I'm old, old school, and for me, he's much more the arch-nemesis that spooks Spider-Man much more than most any other of his rogues (Green Goblin runs up there too, but Doc Ock was first, and scariest, and I loved seeing him in that position). Hopefully, he'll be staying in that "arch-enemy" category here. I always felt like Doc Ock was the Lex Luthor of Spidey's enemies. He's a threat, he's smart, but he can also be weak and silly sometimes. Darkseid is a bigger threat to Superman, but Luthor's a more regular villain. That's how I see Ock. And John and I both agreed that we would use this site to reinvent and re-menace Ock. So... expect him a lot and expect him to be... menacing! Promethium, huh? So this the actual element, or is it the newest in superhero "wonder elements?" And an interesting montage in Otto's head, very intriguing (though I think most of us have our guesses who the other voice is). I'm an English major! Get off my back! Fictional element. Finally, while I saw there was an effort to keep that old school charm in the exposition with scene changes and all, it just helped to yank me out of the story, so here's hoping the "let's check in on our pals" is kept to the barest minimum, if it needs to be kept at all. I may drift away from that gradually, but I also think keeping that type of narrative in the prologue and epilogues would be a good touch. I don't know. I like it.  Ergo, I might keep using it. So a solid start, marred with some poor grammar and not-quite-right-but-good-for-you-trying technique, and good enough to get me to check out issue 2. Good luck and keep it up. Thanks. I think? "Good for [me] for trying"... I hope, along with everyone else, that each issue of Spider-Man will get progressively better than the last one in a continual cycle of awesomeness. The difference is you suckers can only blindly hope and offer me encouragement... I actually have control of the quality! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! 'Til then. -D.L. Mann |
|
|
|
Post by batarang on Jul 5, 2009 22:29:45 GMT -5
Wonderful cover.
I enjoyed this, it felt like classic Spider-Man. Nice wisecracks, and the overall characterizations seem to be strong. Even though you blended in a modern character like Carlie Cooper this early on, it still felt right, and you now have the potential to REALLY mess with Peter's love life.
Liking the set up with Ock, and I hope you continue to pull in old school villains, at least early on. In my opinion, Spidey's got the best rogues gallery in Marvel (and second best in all of comics) and I hope you explore that gallery before introducing new ones.
And while at first I liked the opening style, the continued use of it did throw me, as if I were watching a TV cartoon. It didn't work for me to introduce each scene.
But overall, good beginning.
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 6, 2009 10:45:17 GMT -5
Steven Howard=Beast of an artist. I enjoyed this, it felt like classic Spider-Man. Nice wisecracks, and the overall characterizations seem to be strong. Thanks. I think we've all got that fun, wise-ass inside of us. But we'll hopefully see more of Peter's character traits than just that in future issues. Even though you blended in a modern character like Carlie Cooper this early on, it still felt right, and you now have the potential to REALLY mess with Peter's love life. Oh, you think so huh? I like Carlie Cooper too guys, and any lady in Pete's life is a love interest in ways (except Aunt May) but there's going to be more to her character than just that.... Liking the set up with Ock, and I hope you continue to pull in old school villains, at least early on. In my opinion, Spidey's got the best rogues gallery in Marvel (and second best in all of comics) and I hope you explore that gallery before introducing new ones. I definitely agree. Spidey's got some super-awesome villains, and it's taking a lot of restraint to not just make a Sinister Six and intro a bunch at once. As for new villains, hmmm...... And while at first I liked the opening style, the continued use of it did throw me, as if I were watching a TV cartoon. It didn't work for me to introduce each scene. Wow! Seems like I'm the only one who liked those! But overall, good beginning. That was the goal. Future issues will just get better though. Scout's honor. Though I never was a scout.... |
|
|
|
Post by ajorton on Jul 30, 2009 0:40:47 GMT -5
Great stuff I enjoyed it.
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Jul 30, 2009 1:15:06 GMT -5
Great stuff I enjoyed it. Thanks. |
|
|
|
Post by symplesymon on Dec 6, 2009 20:12:25 GMT -5
Amazing start to what, I'm sure, is set to become a staple - if not THE best - title on Marvel 2.0! Previous mentions aside, this was as near to perfect as you'll need to keep me hooked!
Just one thing - you grafted Ock's arms to his abdomen, and not his back? Is this your reinvention, or did I miss that story?
|
|
|
|
Post by rapscallion86 on Dec 24, 2009 15:26:49 GMT -5
Amazing start to what, I'm sure, is set to become a staple - if not THE best - title on Marvel 2.0! Previous mentions aside, this was as near to perfect as you'll need to keep me hooked! Just one thing - you grafted Ock's arms to his abdomen, and not his back? Is this your reinvention, or did I miss that story? Aw, thanks for the kind words. ;D As for the grafted arms, I put the on his abdomen so it would be more like the Ultimate version, and not like the movie version, since I thought that was the most badass looking version of Doc Ock. Plus, practically, it makes more sense for the arms to come out of his sides then his back. Just a better reach. Or something.... |
|
)
I'm grateful that he gave his services in a moment where I was worried I'd have no editor and Spider-Man would be delayed. That was frightening for me.
Ergo, I might keep using it.
